| Omnes | Noise, bustle, sheep. |
| Speaker | Order! Order! |
| Omnes | Quieter. |
| Speaker | I now call upon the Chancellor of the Exchequer to announce his budget proposals for the coming year. |
| Ernest | Thank you, fellows, thank you. Overall economic forecast is fine, fine, fine... But I've been doing some thinking. Me, mark you! And I've decided that direct taxation needs to be raised. |
| Omnes | Hear hear! Sheep! |
| Ernest | Thank you. I've decided to introduce a tax on penguins... |
| Omnes | Boo! Shame! Resign! |
| Ernest | And bring in a levy on furballs! |
| Omnes | BOOOOOO! Shame! Order! |
| Narrator | Hang on a minute! I though Blogg was being promoted to the Treasury! Whatever has happened to him? I only ask because the final two pages from my script are missing. |
| Nobble | Allow me to assist, Gerald! Look, there's Blogg now, in the campus gardens. |
| Narrator | Oh, yes! |
| FX | Tin rattling. |
| Blogg | (off) Scuse me guv! Got a guinea for a cup of Earl Grey? |
| Grams | Music - closing credits |
| Narrator | That was The McHedgehog Inheritance, a tribute to the Goons penned by Steve Pemberton and John Kilby. Performed by Steve Pemberton, John Kilby, and introducing Mr. Darren Jordan! Closing music by Paul "Fritz" Berry, other music by Garlic and Herb. The wrestling solo was by Leö. Costumes provided by the Milton Keynes Asphalt Company. This has been a Pointing-at-the-Pig Productions production. |
| Grams | More music. |
| Narrator | Right, that's surgery over. Close up, please, nurse. |
| Grams | Finishes. |
BASEBALL SCENE (Deleted)
This fitted into Scene Two before the first song. In fact, when it was written, we hadn't considered where the songs would go.
| Blogg | And what about the other Mister Nurgle - the one you keep telling me is out of the office? What does he play? |
| Nurgle 2 | (slightly disapproving) Mister Nurgle plays fourth base for the New York Yankees. Just listen! |
| FX | Cheer of baseball crowd and brass band music. Grunt as a pitch is made, slap of leather as the backstop catches it. |
| Umpire | Steeeee-rike two! (Identifies it as baseball) |
| FX | Crowd boos, then goes quiet. A grunt as the pitch is made, and the ball is whacked. Crowd goes crazy. |
| Commentator | (American, hysterical) What a hit! (pause) Haff makes first, and hightails it to second (pause) he's made third!- he's sliding for fourth as the ball comes in - |
| FX | Thud of ball on glove. Crowd "oooohs!" in disappointment. |
| Nurgle 3 | (faintly) I'm sorry Sir, it would appear that you're out! |
| Haff | (gruff, brutal) Oh yeah? Eat fist, chump! |
| FX | Crunch as Haff hits Nurgle 3. |
| Commentator | (still hysterical) What a play! |
| FX | Crowd boos again. |
| Nurgle 1 | (sighs) He always was something of an individualist. |
| Blogg | I thought you said he was out of the office? |
| Nurgle 2 | He is, Sir. They're playing on the roof. |